Let's Find My Passion

I want to find something, love care desire throw myself into something, and then use that something to change the world! In other words, I need to find a passion, and it would be just wonderful if I can find it by the end of this month, or even better, the hour. So let's see:

Stuff I Want/Cure/Fight for in this World

• Slow down the regression, social decline, and just plain downhill of America and the rest of the world (how?)
• Cure childhood obesity and obesity in general (so that cures heart disease and other dreadful killers like that)
• Feed the starving children and people in Africa, China, Cambodia, and maybe even a couple blocks away.
• Show all the people with depression in this world how much God loves them, so much that He died for them, and that they do have hope.
• Exploit (?) all the secretly abusive parents, husbands, wives, children, etc out there.
• Dismantle McDonalds (which is the reason the world is coming to an end. seriously.)
• Stop abortion.
• On a smaller scale, I want to contribute to the rebirth of letter writing. And sonnets. And ballroom dancing. And traditional stuff like that.

Sigh, I don't feel anything yet. Man hidden passion thing, come to me! I shall continue my long-awaited search later.

I'm So Ridiculously Bored.

Things I Just Love

• The Ans >F<>D button on the calculator
• Watching the apple tree in my backyard go from ugly, wimpy bare to pink blossomy, cause-allergy flowers, to a huge leafy thing with wormy tennis ball apples
• Washing dishes with the window in clear view so I can watch the sunset
• Hot 2 hour showers.
• Rererereading Dreamers or Harry Potter on the coldest day of winter while eating a cookie in my bed
• An unexpected compliment
• NJSTAR.

I have lists and lists of Things I Love, Things I Enjoy, and Things that Make Me Happy scribbled all over my AP Euro notebook. Because Euro is so miserable that I had to write happy lists to keep me awake. Like I am right now; I'm so terribly bored. I guess I'll just...sleep.

Kill That Darn Spider, or No?

There's a spider on my wall, and I don't have the desire or guts to kill it. But now I'm imagining spider babies, and maybe I'll change my mind.

I spent two and a half hours at the library by myself yesterday. Honestly, it was kind of nice, minus the hour I spent looking in the dreadful nonfiction section for books about medieval medical practices and Andreas Vesalius. Ew. There was a huge booksale going on in the back too. I browsed for another hour, and after careful consideration, bought five books for $2. Yeah, they weren't new, but that must have been the best bargain of my life. Then I carried, more like balanced, those 5 books + 9 library books outside, sat under a tree, called a couple people, and read The C Student's Guide to Success. My afternoon at the library lol. It's blissful to spend time with yourself.

Is it possible to feel sad, mad, angry, hurt, foolish, anxious, nervous, terrified, relieved, anticipatory, and like you want to tear out your hair at the same time?

I think you can.

They have to invent a word for that feeling because it gets kind of tedious to explain.