I Feel Like Blogging Right Now

I know I haven't blogged in a long time. I even ruined my "I blog once a month" streak. And I kind of feel regretful about it. I admit I have been very lazy. Maybe it comes with the summer; I swear I'm suffering from lazy-itis. And I do hope this ridiculous disease goes away enough for me to study for SATS, write college apps, and survive the first semester of senior year. But I'd gladly welcome it back once that's all over.

I had an interesting experience today. I walked into the "Healing Prayer" booth at the Zucchini Festival. I was hoping to see a certain Christian Science or something else religion dude whom I chatted with last year. He was a funny dude; he told me I had a lot of stress in my life, and that all I need to get rid of it is to believe it within myself...or something like that. But that's a different story, and apparently, a different booth.

The first thing those 3 people did when I walked into the tent was laugh and stare at me. I was creeped out. But then I realized they were staring at the smoothie in my hands because apparently they were all burning and sweating under intense heat, and the smoothie looked extremely tempting. lol.

The lady who led me into the tent lured me in by saying that I'd receive free encouraging words. So I was apprehensive when I sat down in the chair between the the lady and the man that they just stared down in silence for the first several minutes, jotting things down on paper. They were listening to God. Very awkward moment for me.

And then they spoke. "Business," the man said. "I see business in your future." The two ladies agreed. That shocked me. I thought I'd walked into one of those "Ouija Board" people groups. But as they kept talking about me to me, I felt...good. Weirded out by how they seemed to pinpoint those specific things about me and how I didn't have to say one thing, but I really did feel as if God was speaking to me through them.

I know that God talks, and He does, we just have to listen.

And I know that there are things in this world that we humans simply cannot understand about Him and about this world and about how things are. And when everything feels hazy and hard and hurtful, I find comfort in remembering that He says, "Be still and know that I am God," and that He loves us despite how horrible we are.

Today I'm Not Miserable.

I read the post I wrote last year on the last day of school. Apparently, I was miserable, confused, lost, and "indescribable."

But today, even though it's the last day of school once again, and I'm a year older, and a step closer to the finale of my beloved childhood, and a year closer on the ticking time bomb threatening to end my highschool career, I'm not miserable, confused, lost, or am I at a lost for words. Though I do miss my friends a lot.

And I don't have a bazillion nostalgic memories and "could've would've should'ves" or regrets running through my mind at the moment. I feel like optimism has been permanently rooted inside me this year. As if the "everything works out in the end" mentality has truly sunk in to stay. I think I've learned a lot about myself--about what I truly believe in, what I'm afraid of, what I can and cannot do, what I want, and what I love. And about other people. And that crossing over takes place in prophase 1.

It was a good year.

Insert Deep, Meaningful April Post...Maybe About the Meaning of Life or Something Like That Here

A Revised Entry From My Journal...that's not really about the meaning of life haha
(5/20/09)

For the past week, I've been trying to clean house. I've thrown away more papers than I've ever thrown away in my life. The Kindergarten papers with the dot-to-dot drawings, the 6th grade Bronze Bow essays (I read them over and am appalled that I used "that" instead of "who"), the random handouts, worksheets, letters, trinkets, I've stuffed all in Costco garbage bags to be shipped off to the dumpster (I wonder if my mother recycled it all). I couldn't keep all the memories anymore because they were weighing down on my house. If you've been to my house, you would have observed that every cabinet, every closet, and every open corner, is one for storing textbooks, schoolwork, and random junk. The house is so much cleaner with all of it gone. I even feel that the air is cleaner somehow. I can open the buffet that's supposed to be used to store forks and plates and not have a bazillion old vocab quizzes or grammar packets fall out. It helps that my mother hired her maid friend to come over and vacuum the carpets (I swear the vacuum cleaner hates me. The lady used the same vacuum cleaner I always use, and she made nice vacuum marks in the floor. I never make vacuum marks in the floor! Vacuum marks = good lol), wash the windows, and sweep, mop, clean the bathroom, etc.

But despite the cleaning, reorganizing, the throwing away, I feel kind of unhappy about it all. I can't help but feel as if I liked things just the way they were before. I'm familiar with mess; I miss my stuff, and I don't like being uprooted. clean air is good. Space is wonderful. A fresh start is what I need. Then why do I complain?

Gone with the Paperclips

Gone With the Wind is such an awesome book. Everyone should read it. Even though it's 1000 pages.

The Balls of My Feet are Killing Me...

...My nails are sore. I can't type faster than 30 wpm, and I cannot pick up hair, lint, or tie my shoes with my fingers. And I almost wounded my eyeballs trying to remove my eye contacts with these fake things. I have an almost-infected cut on my thumb; a cut I have no idea how I received. There's a bruise on my foot from where Joanna stepped on me when we were were learning the waltz (I guess I shouldn't have taken my shoes off). And my body is sore. Probably from trying to dance on those cursed 5- inch heels (according to Florence) and taking pictures in uncomfortable positions.

But the minor injuries were all well worth it I believe.

So formal's just a time to put on a dress and some fake eye lashes and nails, eat dry chicken, take a gazillion pictures, and, at least this year, dance the macarana? to your heart's content.

Fun =).

On a Search for the Perfect Baby Name

No, I'MMM not looking for a baby name, not at the moment at least, haha. However, my aunt and uncle have 3 or 4 months left to find the perfect name for their God-sent child; it's going to be a boy, and he's a miracle-child. They're being very nitpicky about naming this kid; they've poured over a bazillion baby name books and have yet to find " the one." My aunt's name is Sarah, and although my uncle's name is Han, I believe they should name their kid Isaac because when I think of their situation, I can't help but think about Abraham and Sarah in the Bible.

But since I've just given up on my ridiculous homework, and I've just remembered that January's almost ending and that I must update my blog once a month, and since baby names have been my mind for a while, I'll go on my own short, simple, sweet search for a couple baby names for own future kid(s).

Okay, I'm disturbed by the thought of having children. Seriously. I'm too clumsy and careless and silly to be a mother. But okay whatever. Baby names.

Melissa's Future Baby's Name Perequisite:

• Must be pronouncable by all members of family (like by my Grandma)
• Must be meaningful
• Must be unique-ish

I want 2 kids. Sigh. Why am I writing about kids. A boy and a girl. So:

My girl shall be named Hermione. Yeah, she's the girl in Harry Potter. And yeah, she's everything I would want in a daughter (in myself too, but oh well). Brainy, extremely clever, witty, sensitive, loyal, gutsy, and can survive on her own in a tent in the dead of winter.

My boy shall be named Yusseff. I think it's the spinoff Jewish name for Joseph. But I know too many Josephs, so Yusseff works better (I knew a Yusseff from my summer theatre class though, so I know it's a valid name). Joseph is my favorite character in the Bible. He's a leader, problem solver, and knows how to run away from temptation. Plus Yusseff sounds nice with Hermione. Or at least I think so.

Kay, good. I got my names for my future imaginary children. Great.

Wait. Can my grandma pronounce Hermione and Yusseff? Darn.

Today is the Last Day of 2008

I realize I've posted at least once a month ever since I started this blog, and today is the last day of December. And the last day of the year. How utterly depressing.

Hm. Actually, I'm relieved. A new year means erasing the terrible, painful memories of the previous year, the awkward moments, and regrets and what ifs. It's a new start, a new beginning, new adventures! Okay, not really. But I like to think of New Year's this way. So, Happy New Years 2009 everyone (add 5 hours to this post).

Pictures from the "Leaf Raking Party FIRST Fundraiser" in Eric's neighborhood. Eric has a really nice house; I love his balcony. He lives on View Street. And it's obvious why. Except you can't really see it in the picture. Me and Jeffrey are blocking the view. Haha.

That's George Bush (the Christmas tree). He's real; my mother gets free Christmas trees in exchange for donuts. I think he's the best Christmas tree we've ever had. Because he's proportionate. Last year's Christmas tree, Barbara Bush, was kind of crooked.

And these people are my cousins on my mom's side. There's only one boy. He's cute. But he's a spoiled brat. Actually, I think all of us are.

Some cousins from my dad's side. I'm a midget. I used to be taller than ALL those kids. Especially the two standing on the left. I hate growing up. These are the kids I grew up playing idiotic, violent, imaginery games with. Where has all the time gone?

Okay, time to go reflect. Then start an 8 page essay on Benjamin Franklin. What a way to ring in the new year huh.

Goodbye 2008. Good morning 2009.