Memoirs of a Melissa

Today I was as miserable as ever. Because today was the last official school day of my sophomore career. Truly, it wasn't that bad, but I really hate the words "last time," "over," "never again," and "goodbye," even though in about 65 days I'm going to be dragging myself back to the same place and doing the same things over again. But I'm deathly afraid of change, but what the heck can possibly change? And now I don't make sense.

Speaking of which, this entire year did not make sense to me. Since the last day of 6th Grade, I've written reflections of my school years (yes. I'm pretty lame.), and this year I did the same. But when I tried to summarize this year in words, all that came to me was "HUH?" I'm still just so confused and dazed. Hm maybe I'm being a little melodramatic.

But out of the huge blurry cloud of memories, the weirdest pop up. Like right now, I'm thinking about how I ticked the waiter guy off during formal. Something about water...sheesh, of all things. Now I'm picturing myself dozing off during Euro, my head angled towards the side so I wouldn't offend Mrs. K. Which makes me think about the AP exam and how I think I almost passed out after it because I held my breath writing the last essay in 10 minutes.

Flying volleyballs. An abusive coach making his girls cry. Freaking out when I thought I was late for PSATs because the door was inconveniently closed. Papers...lots and lots of papers, documents, notes, and a lack of notebooks. A nightmare of a locker. Intense algebra tests. Sitting on tables; Mr. Loh telling me to get off tables. Major stress. Sitting outside on the coldest nights of winter to paint or pray under a starry night sky. Confusion. Gossipping late into the night. Dropping baby bowling ball and lying on the grass during the All Dayer. Too much love. Watching the sunset and playing basketball while we should have been inside that stuffy room working. Worrying. Eight hour dress shopping. Playing a stuck up girl and a sold out theatre performance. Breaking that crucible in chem.

In the past 10 minutes, those are the incidents that pop into mind. Goodness gracious, this year was just indescribable for me. But it's not all the way over yet, so maybe I'll try then.